A daft little flash fic based on an episode at my hubby's office. ::smirks::
Salesman John Deal watched with amusement as his boss fussed over the assortment of tangled wires and boxes festooned across his desk. The old man was like a kid with a train set at Christmas - prodding here, poking there, abuzz with the sort of excitement more commonly found in a new parent. Ted Bailey was a manipulative sod at times and didn't often let down his guard in front of his staff, and John was enjoying the unusual display of enthusiasm.
Up to a point.
Because the amusement was wearing thin, rapidly replaced by exasperation. They could be here for hours yet while the old man tested the ruddy thing, and he was already late. And tonight of all nights, when it was Guy's birthday and he'd promised to cook his colleague and lover a slap-up meal and then take him to bed and ravish him. He sighed. Guy would kill him this time, for sure.
He propped himself more firmly against the bookcase and tried to keep an alert expression on his face whilst quietly losing the will to live. To him the new video-conferencing kit was just another heap of electronics to get his head round. They already had mobile phones and the office was beginning to resemble a computer showroom. Any more wires and they'd be in danger of hanging themselves every time they walked in.
But Bailey's fascination with his new toy showed no signs of abating yet. John gritted his teeth and swallowed another sigh. He wondered whether to brave the lion's den and ask to go, but thought better of it. There were less obvious ways of getting himself kicked out....
Unbidden, Guy's face swam into sight, the deep blue eyes wearing the hurt look of a lost puppy, and John ground his teeth. Talk about a rock and a hard place. His lover was a past master at turning on the emotional blackmail. Last time he'd broken a date he'd suffered for days.
"Bit new-fangled, all this, isn't it?" he said, as a last attempt at escape. "I mean, we've already got phones. Why the hell do we need to see each other during calls anyway? It's not going to increase our targets or anything."
It didn't work. Bailey paused in the act of inserting a wire into a hole and directed a withering glare over instruction manual and spectacles. "Don't be so quick to dismiss new technology. It has the capability to revolutionise our communication systems. Now, if you'll just hold that switch down while I dial, I think we should be in business."
Sure enough, sound began to filter through the cables, and the blank screen on the old man's desk flickered, brightened and solidified into an image. But hardly the image they'd been expecting. It might still be the staff canteen, but instead of the usual neat array of tables and chairs or the coffee machine, there appeared to be some sort of scuffle going on. Raucous shouts and cat calls filled the air, and as Bailey watched with his mouth open a chair flew past, closely followed by someone's shoe. The background was suddenly obscured as a large body wandered in front of the lens, and clothing was rearranged, and the screen filled with the vision of two large, white, muscular, and very male buttocks that wiggled from side to side before vanishing with a click as Bailey cut the connection.
John snorted helplessly. "That's not going to revolutionise much," he wheezed. Then, taking pity on his boss's crestfallen expression, he added, "Don't worry, sir, they'll stop soon. It's only Guy messing about."
Beside him Bailey smiled the smile of a crocodile, mirthless and full of teeth. "Really?" he asked in deceptively mild tones. "Perhaps you'd like to share with me exactly how you reached that rather startling piece of deduction? All I could see was a man's arse - hardly anything recognisable in that. Unless of course there was some particular distinguishing feature I missed?"
John stopped laughing rather suddenly. "Er, well, that is...."
"Yes, I thought as much," said Bailey. "Now get down to that canteen and tell everyone I'll be switching this connection back on in exactly five minutes, and if I see so much as a sugar bowl out of place they'll be hearing about it."
John fled. But just as he was racing through the door the old man's voice pulled him back. "Oh, and Deal? If you paid more attention to new technology and less to your colleagues' backsides you might be more successful in this business. Almost as successful as me."